After I left the power plant and went to work for Dell on August 20, 2001, I wrote letters back to my friends at the plant letting them know how things were going.  This is the twenty fifth letter I wrote.  Keep in mind that at the time when I originally penned this letter I didn’t intend on it being posted online.

3/13/02 – Faster at Dell

Dear friends up north,

It was fun dropping by this week and seeing the ol’ power plant.  It seems to make my job here just a little more enjoyable.  It was good seeing all my old friends (and getting older all the time).  You guys are always in my thoughts (as you can tell).  I know that was a quick visit, and maybe the next time I will be able to stay a little bit longer.

I have gotten used to doing things quickly since I have been at Dell.  Just this week I have finished writing the program for this quarter’s project.  I’m testing it now.  I’m about a month ahead of schedule. —  But that’s good.  They like to do things fast at Dell.

It just occurred to me the other day that Dell sells a computer somewhere in the world on the average of one computer every second (like the one they advertise on TV).  24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  That’s pretty fast.  See, they just sold another one…and another, and another. —  I’m going too slow.   —  Let’s see if I can keep up.  —  another.  another. another. nuther, nuther, nthr, nthr, nthr, nthr nthr nthr….

There, if I type “Another” like that (nthr), I can just about type that word as fast as Dell is selling computers.  Of course, I would have to do that all day and night forever, to keep track of all the computers they are selling.  —  Or, I can just look it up using one of the handy dandy programs we have.

There is a rumor that at the manufacturing plant in Ireland, they have hired Leprechauns to make the computers.  That way, all they have to do is twitch their nose, or wink, or something like that, and “voila”, the computer is assembled.  (see previous letters to find out that “voila” means “There it is” in French. — That way I don’t have to keep repeating myself  — or get a French – English Dictionary.

That way you will find out that “voici” means “Here it is”, and “veni” means “we came”, as in “Veni, Vidi, Vici” — Which means, “We came, we saw, we conquered”  — Sorry, my mind seems to wander while contemplating the meaning of the universe).  Anyway, that leprechaun thing is a pretty good idea.

See. Here I am, all proud of myself for being done with my next program one month before I was scheduled to be done, and guess what.  They have already given me two other projects to do at the same time.  If I hadn’t finished with this one, I would have needed another computer at my desk, and I would have had to dream up some way to work on all three computers at the same time.

Luckily this scenario has been avoided.  — I was already working on a program in my spare time that would write programs for me.  I hadn’t gotten very far, because my spare time usually consists of going to the bathroom, and I didn’t think I should bring another laptop with me in there.

I already brought one, and if I was trying to work on two laptops at the same time AND contemplate the meaning of the universe (isn’t that what most people do while they are in the bathroom?  — at least when their mind isn’t wandering), I might drop one at the most inopportune time, and create a mess of things.  — So my program to write programs has been slow coming.  —  If only I could write a program that would write THAT program, I would be set.

Well, it’s time to go now.  Someone is out there tapping his foot impatiently.  I guess all the stalls are being used.  — Time to get back to work.

Your friend down south,

Kevin James Anthony Breazile

______________________

Kevin J. Breazile

Programmer Analyst II

Dell Computer Corporation

(512) 728-1527

After I left the power plant and went to work for Dell on August 20, 2001, I wrote letters back to my friends at the plant letting them know how things were going.  This is the twenty fourth letter I wrote.  Keep in mind that at the time when I originally penned this letter I didn’t intend on it being posted online.

03/01/02 – Old man at Dell

Hello friends from the Artic Tundra of Oklahoma,

I just wanted to fill you guys in on the oldest and ricketiest old man on our team.  Last week I told you guys that we had received two new people on our crew and that I am no longer the “New Guy”.  This week I wanted to tell you about the “oldest guy” on our team.  He is quite a character, and I don’t think he would mind tooooo much if I talked about him.  As a matter of fact, I told him I was going to write to you guys about him, and he didn’t seem to mind.  At least he didn’t tell me not to, so I took that as a “yes”.

I asked this old guy what he thought about being the oldest guy on our team and this is what he had to say:  “I don’t know what all the hubbub is about being the oldest guy on the team.  I don’t look all that old,” he said, as he checked to make sure his dentures were in straight, and his pants weren’t pulled up too high on his chest.

This guy dresses about the same as everyone else, but he does have a few indicators that he may be getting on in years.  —  Understand that when I say that he is old, I’m not saying that he was born back in the same era when Gene Day was a youngster.  —  In fact, he’s probably young enough to have Gene Day as his daddy (though, let’s not condemn him to that doom, even in our imagination.  — Gene knows that we all love him, and we understand that his alzheimer’s has gotten a little out of hand these past few decades, so we tend to overlook some of his — well, his blatant errors in judgement, as well as his drooling while he eats).  — I only say those things about Gene so that he will write more often.

Anyway.  Like I said, there are a few things that this old man does that indicates that he is getting a little on in years.  For one thing, he reminisces a lot.  —  That means that he talks about all the things he used to do.  —  This brings to mind an old man that worked as a contract helper at Sooner Plant once named “Bill Boyd”.

I’m sure those from the electric shop remember him well.  One day Bill was telling us about one of the many jobs that he had worked on, and Andy Tubbs said, “I don’t believe you did that!”  Bill Boyd was so taken aback that he asked Andy, “What did you say? What do you mean you don’t believe me?”  Andy said, “If you did all the things you say you did, you would have to be 150 years old!”

To tell you the truth.  He did look close to 150 years old to me.  I remember walking in the electric shop office one morning and hearing a ticking sound.  I said,  “Bill.  I think you’re ticking.”  — He said, “Oh.  You can hear that too?  That’s my pacemaker.”  It sounded like his pacemaker was made of a little wind-up hammer constantly doing CPR on his chest.

Note to Reader:  To learn more about Bill Boyd, read this Power Plant Man Post:  Power Plant Raven Comes Home to Roost

Anyway.  I heard this old man on our team telling the new hires the other day that for years and years he used to be the youngest guy on his crew, then one day he looked around, and everyone was younger than him.  What a thought.

There is another thing that this old man does that tells me that he’s not the spring chicken he might suppose.  He drives a fairly old, kind of grungy car, and he’s not embarrassed parking it right next to everyone else’s Jaguars and Corvettes and Mercedes in the parking lot.  He just pulls up with his loose squealing fan belt and the squeaking struts, and grinding brakes and comes clunking along into the parking lot every morning, just as proud as can be.  —  A sure sign that this old man has a loose screw somewhere else than just on his car.

Which reminds me.  When I have time, I need to get my brakes worked on.  When driving on the freeways in Austin, brakes are very important. —  I think they call them Freeways because when everyone leaves work at the end of the day, they have this attitude that they have just been freed from prison, and they are all excited to get home as quickly as possible, and nothing is going to stop them.  Not even the 400,000 cars in front of them.

It is at times like this where good brakes are essential.  — Forget the advertisements about how a car can go from Zero to 60 miles an hour in 5 point 2 seconds.  Around here you need one that will go from 80 to Zero in 40 feet!!!

Anyway.  What was I talking about?  Sometimes I just can’t remember like I used to.  Oh yeah.  I was talking about this old man on our team.  Ok.  So you probably have already guessed.  Yes you are right.  I am the oldest person.

Yes.  I found out the other day that the guy that looked like he was about 55 with gray hair and wrinkles was actually only 37 years old.  He just smokes a lot.  So guess what.  I left Sooner Plant as the Youngest electrician for 18 years, to become the oldest programmer on my team at Dell.

I hope everything is going well with all of you guys.  How will the place run without the quick thinking determined decisions from Jasper Christensen?  I hope he has an enjoyable life —  in the “real” world.

Your friend from Dell,

Kevin James Anthony Breazile

______________________

Kevin J. Breazile

Programmer Analyst II

Dell Computer Corporation

(512) 728-1527

After I left the power plant and went to work for Dell on August 20, 2001, I wrote letters back to my friends at the plant letting them know how things were going.  This is the twenty second letter I wrote.  Keep in mind that at the time when I originally penned this letter I didn’t intend on it being posted online.

02/07/02 – Ice at Dell

Dear Friends,

I’m sorry I haven’t written to Sooner sooner.  Early last week I encountered a temporary change in job description.  The other day they found out that I had the ability to heal computer related problems by just laying my hands on the monitors (which you guys at Sooner have known for a long time).

So they had me running around fixing computer problems a good part of the week.  Last Friday, I spent the whole day doing nothing but fixing computer problems for people.  They even had me setting up training room computers for new hires.

They were talking about putting me in the manufacturing plant, and having me lay my hands on all of the computers as they went down the conveyor belt. — but then they might have to lay off some of the Tech Support people.  — That’s not my normal job description, which is creating programs to dazzle and impress my business partners.

Then, this Monday through Wednesday, I was in class at a training center somewhere in the heart of Austin learning the new programming languages which included: ASP.Net, ADO.Net, VB.Net, and C# (pronounced “see sharp” — Which makes me think that this has something to do with looking at Robert Sharp — though I don’t know what).  — So, now I’m the resident expert on these languages, and I’m supposed to present them in a “Code Review” tomorrow.

Anyway.  I heard you guys had a lot of Ice up there in Oklahoma last week.  —  I just wanted you to know that here at Dell, we have our share of Ice also.  Just across the way, and over yonder, there are Coke machines and candy machines.  And right next to the candy machine is an Ice Dispenser.  I use it a lot.

There is also an Ice dispenser in the break room which is located in the middle of the floor that I’m on, in this wing of the building.  Also, there is an Ice Dispenser in the cafeteria.  —  Now, that’s Three, (count them, — Three) Ice dispensers on just the 1st floor!!!  —  So when you guys think you are having a lot of Ice, just think about us down here, with all of our Ice machines!

I think today was the “third” day this winter that I’ve had to scrape Ice (yes – Ice.  —  Some may refer to it as “Frost”)  off of the windows on my car.  It was only 35 degrees this morning!!!!  Brrrrrr….  I had to put on my “heavy” jacket!!!  I noticed that the people around here don’t really know when to wear jackets.  I’m not sure that everyone “owns” a jacket.

Yesterday morning, it was about 45 degrees, and I noticed that some people were walking around outside with short sleeve shirts, and no coat (and a confused look on their face – wondering why they had this strange sensation causing their teeth to chatter).  Not me.  I don’t own a winter coat anymore, but I do have a “heavy” jacket.  — I have a pair of Carhart coveralls around somewhere too, but I’m not sure where.

I suppose that things are going well with you guys.  I have removed Bill Robinson from my e-mail list, since, as I understand it.  He retired.  Bill was always one of those guys that whenever you talked about him, it usually helped to end your sentences with “Bless his heart.”  —  You know.  You might say something like:  “Oh, I heard that Bill accidentally tripped the wrong Bowl Mill again, bless his heart.”  Or, “Oops, Bill ran the pickup into another one of those yellow posts, bless his heart.”

Do you see how helpful it is when you add “Bless his heart” to the end of the sentence?  It’s a remarkable phrase.  I have found that it comes in real handy when talking about Gene Day also.  With Gene, all you have to say is:  “Gene Day?  Bless his heart.”

Toby mentioned the other day that he might send some coal dust down, just so that I could enjoy playing in the stuff every once in a while.  —  Well, he doesn’t have to.  If I need a “coal dust” fix, I just go in the garage, and pull an old tool out of my tool bucket, and my hand will come out all black from the accumulated coal dust in my tool bucket.

I’ll write later,  it is good to hear from you guys.

Your Pal at Dell,

Kevin James Anthony Breazile

______________________

Kevin J. Breazile

Programmer Analyst II

Dell Computer Corporation

(512) 728-1527

After I left the power plant and went to work for Dell on August 20, 2001, I wrote letters back to my friends at the plant letting them know how things were going.  This is the twenty first letter I wrote.  Keep in mind that at the time when I originally penned this letter I didn’t intend on it being posted online.

01/25/02 – Michael at Dell

Dear Friends from up North,

I thought you guys would like to hear about my day.

Well.  We had our meeting this morning with Michael Dell.  He’s one of the richest people in the country.  He’s 36 years old.  When he showed up at our meeting he was wearing a tee shirt and jeans.  He talked to us for about an hour and answered questions and told us what we were going to do to compete in our industry.  It was pretty neat seeing this guy because he acts so normal.

A few weeks ago when I was walking over a few rows to another cubicle to talk to someone, I turned the corner to walk down the end of the cubicles, and I saw some guy walking by, so I said “Hi” to him.  As we continued walking, I thought, “Boy, that guy sure looks like “Michael Dell”.  So I turned and looked at him again (walking alongside me), and sure enough.  He was just a regular Joe (or Mike) walking along just like anyone else.  He was dressed casual just like me.

I thought.  Hmmm.  Should I ask him if he has ever heard of the most Omniscient (all-knowing) person on the planet Earth?  (You know.  The one that works at OG&E.  The Equipment Support Supervisor at Sooner Plant).  I decided not to.  I thought one of the most wealthiest people on Earth would certainly know the most intelligent person, so then I thought.  Maybe I should ask him if he has gotten any advise recently from the intelligent being aforementioned. (That means, that I just mentioned above).  Then I thought.  No.  I probably wouldn’t be able to understand the advice, because it would be so intellectually superior to my brain that it would seem like pure gibberish.  —  At least that’s what usually happened in the past whenever I heard about said person’s Super Intelligent Ideas.  So I just walked along down the rows of cubicles, and decided to mind my own business.  I had already done the right thing by saying “Hi” to him before I realized who he was.  So I left it at that.

Note to reader:  The Power Plant Men all knew I was referring to our Maintenance Supervisor Jim Arnold.  For more information about him check out this post, especially slide 20:  Power Plant Final Presentation.

All in all we had a lot of fun talking about the other large PC companies and how they don’t have long with this world.  Anyway.  Dell’s revenue is now about 1/8 the size of Wal-Mart.  And Wal-Mart is now the largest company in the world as far as revenue.  That means that Dell is really raking it in.

I’ll talk to you later,

Your friend at Dell,

Kevin James Anthony Breazile

______________________

Kevin J. Breazile

Programmer Analyst II

Dell Computer Corporation

(512) 728-1527