After I left the power plant and went to work for Dell on August 20, 2001, I wrote letters back to my friends at the plant letting them know how things were going. This is the seventieth letter I wrote. Keep in mind that at the time when I originally penned this letter I didn’t intend on it being posted online.
3/28/03 — Team Building at Dell Computer Corporation
Dear Soonerites (and Laterites),
Well. It’s Friday afternoon, and a number of people around me are gone because they went to their “Team-builder” Activity today. Gee. My last team-builder must have been pretty boring. I can’t even remember what it was. —- Oh yeah. I looked it up in my Outlook calendar. It was when we went to the “Adult Arcade” place and I sat in that “Electric chair”. — No wonder I didn’t remember.
I remember now walking around for hours after that experience looking like that frizzy-haired guy on Seinfeld. Well. We had a meeting the other day to discuss where our team is going to go on our next outing — Oh. Did I say “Outing?.” I meant to say ” …our next company-sponsored corporate team-building event.” We decided to go to this place called “Fiesta Texas”. It’s in San Antonio. It is a Six Flags Theme park.
We already discussed some of the different team-building activities we are going to take part in while we’re there, but we’re up for suggestions I’m sure. We thought our whole team would get on one of the bigger roller coasters all at the same time, and then when we go over the hills, we’ll raise our hands in the air and act like a bunch of cool frat boys and sorority girls by hooting and hollering some such slogan like “Dude, You’re getting’ a Dell!”. We figure that will get us in the team-building spirit.
The team decided that only those people who took part in this particular team-building activity would be given their “lunch voucher.” That way, they figured that we would have full participation. — I’m not really sure that I will want to eat lunch after that anyway, but I suppose I’ll go on it. That way everyone can yell, “Hey! Look at that ‘Old Man’ riding on that Roller Coaster! Doesn’t he look funny with all of that stuff all over his shirt and face, and ….eeuuuww, is that what I think it is!?!”
We’re going to carpool down there since it will take about an hour and a half or so. I was able to con someone into driving me by promising them that I will tell them stories about the place where I used to work. I think everyone likes hearing stories about when I worked at this great big power plant full of all this equipment and these great people who used to do the funniest things.
I can only remember a few funny things, but that’s ok. You guys know how it is when you get older. You start telling the same ol’ stories over and over again. — I wonder how many times these guys down here have heard the story about Bud Schoonover the Tool Room guy and how he would never let you have something if it was the last one he had so he would never have to order any more of anything? Or the story about how I played this trick on Gene Day, and it turned out to be so funny that I almost died laughing before Gene could choke me to death.
Note to reader: To learn more about Bud Schoonover read the post Elvin Power Plant Tool Room Adventures with Bud.
To Read more about Gene Day choking me, see this post: Psychological Profile of a Power Plant Control Room Operator and Power Plant Humor and Joking with Gene Day.
You know what? I just realized something. Do you remember how I went to a team-builder last year and I had to tell them stuff about myself, and I told them that the two most interesting people in the world that I knew was Walt Oswalt and Bud Schoonover? Well, since that time, there are only two other people on my team that were on my team back then. — We reorganize a lot down here. — Anyway. You know what that means? That means that I can tell the same ol’ stories over again and most of the team will not have heard it before! Boy. This is easier than I thought.
Well. We’re planning on going to our Team-builder event on April 17th, so if one of you guys want to come down and meet me there, that would be great. Especially if we can stage a great team-building event right in front of the Roller coaster ride just before we are supposed to get on, where you act like you’re having a heart attack, and I administer First Aid to you, and check your pulse, and shake your shoulders and say, “I’m medically trained. I can help you.”
And I can whip out a stethoscope and start listening to your lungs and looking off into space like I’m really trying to listen to that gurgling noise when you breathe. — That way, everyone will go on the Roller coaster ride and leave me behind to take care of you, and I’ll be able to hear them going over the hills yelling with their hands up in the air, while I’ll be rolling over laughing because they will think that I was being some kind of “hero”, when actually I was just doing what we used to do when we took those CPR courses every year.
Oh. My manager, just walked by my cube and asked me if I’m rambling again. — How does he know? — He must be Psychic!!! — It must be all that “Team-building” vibes I was sending out.
Well. I guess I’ve rambled on long enough. When you see Gene Day, tell him I said “Hi”. — He gets a copy of this e-mail, so he’ll know why, but it would still be a great “Team-building” event if everyone would just do something special for him today. — Don’t you think? Just say something like “Hi Gene!!!! I think you’re a really Great Guy!!! Oh, by the way. Kevin says ‘Hi’.”
Write and let me know how things are going. I guess you guys are starting Overhaul this weekend, unless the finger-crossing didn’t work and you had to start it early. Let me know what’s happenin’.
Your pal from down south,
Kevin James Anthony Breazile
Kevin J. Breazile
Dell Computer Corporation