Letters to the Power Plant #86 — Dellightful Policies at Dell

After I left the power plant and went to work for Dell on August 20, 2001, I wrote letters back to my friends at the plant letting them know how things were going.  This is the eighty sixth letter I wrote.  Keep in mind that at the time when I originally penned this letter I didn’t intend on it being posted online.

10/10/03 – Dellightful Policies at Dell

Dear friends at Sooner,

I hope all is going well with you guys.  I realize it has been a couple of weeks since I have written, and I hope you don’t think I have forgotten to write, because I haven’t.  I have just had something scheduled every minute of every day for the last couple of weeks. —  Until now.  In 15 minutes, I have to do something else, but for the next 15 minutes, I’m FREE!!!!

Next week I will be in training all week in Chicago.  I’m going to be learning more of what I was learning before, only it will be different.  I’ll let you know how the food is up there.  Someone already pointed me to a good Italian Restaurant near my hotel.

Well, I’ll have to see about that.  After all, my Italian mom and my wife are both very good at cooking Italian food, and I don’t usually find food that is much better than their Italian dinners, so I’ll see.  — Enough about food.  I’m making myself hungry.

We had a new policy come out today, that I thought was really constructive.  It is so good that I thought you guys would like to hear it and maybe institute this policy back at the plant.  The policy reads like this:

“A zero tolerance policy on human error has been instituted since this can be managed.”

For some reason, this reminds me of something right out of a Dilbert Comic Strip.  Of course, none of us at Dell produce “human error”, so it really doesn’t apply to us.

So far, it has always been “Someone else’s fault” that caused all the errors.  I suppose this policy has just been put in place for any new hires who may join the company and think that they can produce “human error” without consequences.

When my manager sent me note that said, “We should all take note that John has instituted a zero tolerance policy on human errors.”  I sent him back a reply that said,  “I have notted that Jhon has institooted a zer0 tallerance on whoman errers, and it will knot happin agin.  Beecuz this can be manitched.  Kevin.

My manager came over to my cube (that means “cubicle” in case you were wondering), and told me that he thought I needed “Sensitivity Training”.

By the Way.  I spent all morning in “Conflict Management” training, so I told him.  “I know.  I just took Conflict Management training, but I still have a problem with ‘sensitivity’.  So I’ll see if I can sign up for a course.”  —   That’s just what I need….. More training.

Well.  I can see that my 15 minutes is almost up, so I better wrap this up.  I’ll write next week from Chicago.  I hope “Overhauls and stuff” are going well with you guys.  It has been a couple of weeks since I’ve heard anything from up your way, so I figure you are all too busy just like me, overhauling one of the plants.

Let me know how it’s going.  Talk to you later,

Your Friend from Dell,

Kevin James Breazile

______________________

Kevin J. Breazile

Programmer/Analyst III

Dell Inc.

(512) 728-1527