After I left the power plant and went to work for Dell on August 20, 2001, I wrote letters back to my friends at the plant letting them know how things were going. This is the fortieth letter I wrote.
06/17/02 – Back from vacation at Dell
Hello Sooner Friends,
I have returned from vacation. I had a fun and interesting time. And as usual, while I was away, the typical things happened when a person misses an all-important meeting. It seems that our Vice President had heard that I was the “PowerPoint King”, and so he has volunteered my services at the “AISD”.
Down here in Texas, they have these things called ISD’s. That stands for “Independent School Districts”. It’s more important what ISD you live in, than what town you live in for obvious reasons. For instance, if you live in the Round Rock ISD, That means that you are a “Dragon”. If you live in the AISD (That’s Austin ISD), then you are some other kind of mean or noble creature that does not refer to American Indians, Endangered Species, or Sissies.
Anyway. My VP volunteered my services to the Austin ISD, so that I can teach all the High School and Middle School Children the fine art of “PowerPoint”. — I said, “Ok, but do you really want ME teaching them PowerPoint?” If I teach the children PowerPoint, the teachers might make a rule against using PowerPoint at all commencement Speeches. (Did you notice that Steven, the Dell Dude guy was using PowerPoint at HIS commencement address?).
Note to reader: To learn more about my use of PowerPoint, you can read the following two posts: (Can you do that? Use two colons in a row?):
Actually, I think I’m going to be teaching them more than PowerPoint. I’m going to be teaching them the “Art of saying what you want without being kicked off the stage, at least until the end.”
No. I mean. I’ll be teaching them the other Microsoft Office products as well. Like Access, which is a Database program, and Excel, and Outlook and Word, and of course “Solitaire”. Especially in the more unfortunate schools where Solitaire has accidentally been left off of their school computers.
Note to Reader: To learn more about Solitaire being taken off of the computers, see the post Hitting the Power Plant HR Cardboard Ceiling.
I will show all the wonderful children the fine art of recovering valuable information that up to this point has been unavailable to them, such as the database where their grades are kept. I will show them where they can change the school districts Lunch menu, so they will be able to schedule which days they would prefer hamburgers, or a steak dinner, etc.
I’m supposed to go to a meeting on Friday about this. It seems that I have been put on what’s called the “Core Team”. So I figure we will get to pick and choose what we want, (unless of course, I miss that meeting, in which case I will be given all the stuff that no one else wants — or be elected “Leader” — So I’ll be sure to be there).
At least it’s nice to know that my Vice President has faith in my abilities. I guess he’s gotten over the program I wrote that started snoring when someone stopped using it for 5 minutes. He’s actually a great guy.
Of course, this forgiving and forgetting thing is throwing me for a loop. Where did that come from? It must be a new thing that was only invented last year. Up until last August I never knew Management could forgive or forget something, (unless it was your overtime pay).
Hmmmmm. I wonder if I can do that? I’ll give it a try some time. — I wonder what Jim Arnold would say if I went up to him and told him I forgave him for all the rotten and terrible things he did to me and my friends, and then I gave him a big kiss right on the smackeroo? — Oh. Excuse me. That last thought was just a little too much. I apologize if I caused anyone to loose their lunch ( I know I almost did). It was purely unintentional. (I’m sure).
Before I end this letter, I would like to publicly apologize to Byron Hoeltzel for misspelling his last name. — I spelled it “Hoetzel” in my last letter (but corrected when I posted it online). Silly me. I should know better, after all. I’ve seen my name spelled every which way. — Some of them I wouldn’t even repeat in public.
I’ll talk to you guys later….
Your friendly Dell programmer,
Kevin James Anthony Breazillllle
Kevin J. Breazile
Customer Experience / Warranty Cost
Dell Computer Corporation